ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE (plz)
All throughout high school I never kept a planner. I would often try and use the cheesy ones the school gives us, however it always ended up bent in the bottom of my backpack. For some reason, I just could never get into it.
My routine was always solid throughout high school. Routine was my life. I woke up at the same time to go to school, then right after I either went to work or cheer practice. Every day was different, but every week was the same. Beyond that, my parents were divorced so even the place I slept at was a routine. In high school I didn’t have to make any choices for myself, everything was decided.
So, naturally when college rolled around and I had the option to schedule all my classes late in the day, I ran with that chance. I think I legit told myself “Omg I get to sleep in until noon, this will be amazinggg.”
My whole life I’ve been a night owl. I will be tired all day, on the verge of a fat nap. And still, when midnight rolls around I am ready to go on that Youtube binge until the early morning. Even sometimes when I force myself to fall asleep, I just lay there thinking about the most random stuff.
I recently saw this comedy special (LINKED BELOW) on Youtube (on one of those Youtube binges, yep.) with Wanda Sykes. One part of her set caught my eye (or ear, I suppose). She was saying how women don’t have room for additional thought, they overthink EVERYTHING. And, I don’t know about you. But if this was a crime, I would be sentenced to life. Sykes went on to say, women can’t sleep at night because they’re just laying in bed thinking “I need to talk to her tomorrow. I don’t like the way she spoke to me...Did I lock the door? I should’ve bought those shoes. Where’s my high school yearbook?...” This is so true. My mind is just overactive at night. Well, I suppose it’s overactive all the time. So, I asked myself, why am I always thinking? Why can’t I just live and go to bed like a normal person. I’ve always envied the people that fall asleep as soon as they hit the pillow. Could not be me. However, I came to a conclusion. My mind is always racing when I’m alone because I never give my time to process things when they happen. I’m constantly going, going, going. It doesn’t help when I sleep till noon and am on a time crunch to get everything done. As soon as I wake up, my brain turns into “go mode”. Go mode is hard to turn off. It’s like that pesky desktop app that you have to “force quit”, but for some reason you can’t. And you can’t turn off your computer until that’s closed, so it’s just an endless cycle.
Moral of the story, my lack of routine was forcing me to overwork myself. So when it was time to relax, I didn’t know how. And honestly, I still struggle with that, as a woman and an anxious person I always will. But, I’ve found a few ways to cope.
First step: FIND YOUR ALONE TIME AND PLAN IT OUT
Alone time is essential (for everyone). Doesn’t matter who you are, you need to be alone. The most independent people are the people who aren’t afraid to be alone.
Before this, I loved my alone time. However, I didn’t make it a priority on my agenda.
If you don’t make time for yourself, how will other people make time for you
Alone time shouldn’t be boring in any sense. Alone time should be something you enjoy, so if you hate being alone, do something you find exciting. Make alone time something to look forward to. Make a latte, color something, meditate, listen to your favorite album. I prefer scheduling my alone time first thing in the morning. It helps get my day started off right. Then, I’m not stuck on go mode, waiting until I can lay in bed and watch Tik Tok until 2 am.
I also highly recommend your idea of alone time isn’t involving something on your phone. You’re not truly alone when you could talk to someone with the press of a button. Also, you’re not forced to think and reflect. Your phone does this for you. Reflection is key.
What I do every morning is wake up at 8 or 9 am (which is early for me okay.), practice some French (this is not alone time, rather I reward myself with alone time after I accomplish ten minutes or so), make my morning coffee, listen to some music, and then gaze out my window (which is just a view of a brick building, but okay). And then I get my day started.
Second step: MAKE A ROUTINE THAT’S FUN
If you follow my Instagram (@macykennedyy @macylizdesigns), you know I’ve been obsessed with Notion.
(non sponsored) Notion is a free online customizable planner. I think I spent a solid two days on this site just setting everything up. I used twirlingpages’s template (LINKED BELOW) to get started. I tried doing it on my own, but this template is so well thought out that it helped me organize in ways I wouldn’t think of (link is in the description of the video, but I highly recommend watching the video to get acquainted with the site).
I use Notion for a multitude of things. No only can I schedule out my week by breaking down each day, I also have a meal plan, shopping wish list, journal, exercise calendar, habit tracker, and literally so much more.
I’ve never really thought of myself as someone who likes routine. But I think I just didn’t have a routine I enjoyed. Now that I’m in college, my routine is up to me. I can do whatever I want really. Well not whatever. Notion allowed me to enjoy the process of building a routine. I think making a customized planner makes this process so much more enjoyable. Rather than using a planner that didn’t hold value to me and was the same for everyone, Notion is my own space.
Routine is not for everyone, and that’s okay! Some people can be perfectly fine without one. However, at least for me, routine was worth a shot. And it made my life ten times easier. I know exactly what I’m doing and never have to worry about due dates and deadlines.
I think my new obsession with routine is rooted in the fact I used to be a goody two shoes. I literally used to put myself in timeout #accountability. I hate getting in trouble and I hate forgetting. And the past couple years my memory has gone out the window. I think this is largely due to the fact that I’ve been on go mode so much. This is why reflection is so important to me. I need time for my brain to relax.
In high school I conditioned myself to be on go mode. I went to school, straight to practice (where I worked my butt off), or work. I was a waitress, which any service industry job is seriously so stressful. I was constantly running around. At one point, I had three jobs on top of cheer and school. Why? Idk, I like being productive.
I still love being productive. But I've completely shifted the mentality around it. Rather than waking up late to do more in less time, I allow myself down time in the night to do the things I enjoy. Now, I can relax before dinner, rather than at 1 am. Productivity shouldn’t be linked with stress. SELF CARE IS SO IMPORTANT.
Third Step: Put Yourself First, Please.
If you’re not in a good mindset, everything you do will shadow that. Your work won’t be produced to it’s best quality. If you feel like laying in bed and watching movies, DO IT. Not every day has to be productive. And if you're productive the rest of the week, you deserve at least one day off. If you don’t allow yourself time off, you’re going to get burnt out. For me, when I get burnt out, I throw in the towel for a couple days. Rather than taking a day to recuperate, my whole week is thrown off. Sometimes self care days are unplanned, and those are honestly the best. By being productive and getting everything done, self care won’t stress me out. I don’t have to worry about what’s gonna happen if I don’t do anything.
When I started Notion, I blocked off my Sundays as ‘self-care’ sundays. I made a longggg list of things I could do today. Every Sunday, I picked three (at least) things I can do to relax. Do a face mask, do yoga, shave your legs, make a new playlist, buy that purse you’ve had your eye on. Self care Sunday is the ultimate alone time. By the time the day is over, I’m ready to go full force on Monday.
Everyone has their own preference on how to organize their life. Some people prefer to let life come to them. Honestly, I envy those people. I used to try to be one. But, as I’ve gotten older, I have fallen in love with routine. I make my routine fun, it’s something I look forward to.
Notion helped me get the ball rolling and hold myself accountable for my productivity and goals. However, I had to learn my psyche the hard way. This is what works for me, and it’s not gonna work for everyone. Finding out my process took time. I used to HATE the mornings. Now, I look forward to it because it’s my alone time.